


Fe 26

by die_traumerei



Series: Chemistry [4]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute Dumb Boyfriends, Depression, Disabled Character, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, mute!Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 17:26:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9335141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/die_traumerei/pseuds/die_traumerei
Summary: Steve and Bucky continue to build a life together, though good times and bad. And kink. Kinky sex happens too. (But also life.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WAHEY, finally!
> 
> I can't promise how often this will update, since I have six million simultaneous stories going, but I'll try to keep it semi-regular -- no less than once a month, certainly. I have a little bit written, but to a large extent, we'll all be going on this journey together. I missed them, though, and it's good to be back writing these boys.
> 
> As ever, text in italics is typed by the character, and underlined text is signed.

“Hey sweetheart, time to wake up.”

“Hmmm?” Steve burrowed deeper into the blankets. “No 's not.”

“It is.” Bucky's voice was low and rough. Affectionate. Not impatient, therefore he was kidding around and could fuck right off.

Oooh, fucking. Yeah.

“C'mon in here with me,” Steve demanded sleepily. “'s nice.”

Laughter. His lover's laugh was rich, belied the growly tenor of his voice. “I know, but you've got to wake up baby.”

“ _Don't_.”

“Do! It's my birthday. I want to go out to breakfast.”

“Sucking my dick is breakfast,” Steve offered, and got a good slap on the ass for it too. Well, that was deserved.

“Please Stevie?” Bucky whined, flopping on top of him. “ _Please_? I really wanna get breakfast with you.”

And there – that little note of sincerity, of Bucky really, truly just wanting him. That was what got Steve to wake up and roll over and grin up at his love, gathering him close. “All right, all right. Just lemme get dressed.”

“Good.” And then there were kisses. Ones which reminded Steve of something.

“Hey,” he mumbled into Bucky's mouth. “When did you start talking?”

“What do you mean? I always talked,” Bucky said, and the dream dissolved away.

Steve blinked in the winter morning. Bucky was still asleep, curled up close, and Steve had his arms wrapped around him.

He sighed a little, and kissed his lover's hair, messy and tangled as it was. Bucky never minded that Steve dreamed about him talking, but  _Steve_ sure as fuck minded. He loved Bucky exactly the way he was, lived for that silent laughing and the way Bucky smiled and traced a heart onto the back of Steve's hand. But the dreams were still...nice.

Bucky stirred a little, and Steve s tilled, hoping he hadn't woken Bucky up. He hadn't been sleeping great  over the last few nights.

His lover stretched though, and opened sleepy eyes to smile up at Steve, still a little dopey.

“Hey,” Steve murmured, and bent his head to kiss Bucky. “Happy birthday.”

Bucky's grin grew wider, and he snuggled close, tucking his head under Steve's chin. Steve felt a single fingertip trace lazy hearts over his side, and he drew a heart on Bucky's back in return. “I should give you a Sharpie, let you draw some hearts on me, and get 'em tattooed on,” he murmured, and laughed when Bucky nodded and gave him a squeeze. “No drawing one on my dick, okay?”

He got a poke in the side for that.

“I'm lettin' you pick my next tattoo, and all I get is abuse?” he asked, and Bucky shook with a silent giggle. “Seriously. Draw some hearts on me, Buck. I need new ink.”

Bucky pushed back a little and reached up to kiss Steve.  okay he signed.  I will. later. Another kiss, this one more heated.

“Sounds good,” Steve murmured into Bucky's mouth, dipping one hand below the waistband of his sweatpants. A year of living together had put some padding on Bucky, and his bottom was perfection, as far as Steve was concerned. He squeezed hard, appreciating the generous handful, and rolled his hips when Bucky moved his.

Searing kisses on his mouth, his throat, his shoulders.  Bucky's mouth was so  _ good _ , and Steve kissed him back hungrily, gentleness receding for the moment. Fuck, fuck, fuck he loved so much, how could a person hold this much feeling?

He pulled Bucky's shirt off and kissed his way down his lover's chest, almost frantic, starving to feel him close, the way Bucky's hands tangled in his hair. He kissed his lover's soft, flat belly, nuzzling his navel. He kissed the curve of Bucky's hip, and pulled his pajama pants down enough to free his cock.

Fully hard, curving towards his belly, a beautiful deep red. Steve took a moment to memorize how it looked when Bucky wanted him so much, and then wrapped his lips around the head. He couldn't, quite, draw it out, not with the way Bucky's hand clenched in his hair, and it was early anyway. A time to be messy and fast and give in. They were going to go out for a nice dinner that night, and once they got home – then, maybe, he could take his time.

Steve pulled the orgasm from him sweet as anything, knowing Bucky's body so well now and suckling greedily until Bucky softened in his mouth, became hypersensitive and tapped Steve's shoulder to get him to lay off.

Steve tugged his pants back up and crawled up, arms wrapping around Bucky again and kissing him sweetly, just a little added touch.

Bucky sighed silently, happily, and snuggled close. He dropped his hand to between Steve's legs and frowned, backing off to look at him.

Steve had entirely failed to get hard, the entire time they lay together.

“Hey,” he said softly. “It's just the meds, you know that right? It's not you at all.”

Bucky frowned harder.  that's not fair though! you shouldn't have sucked me off

“I can do what I want,” Steve argued.

NOT FAIR

“Really fair,” Steve countered, and tried to kiss Bucky, but got no response. “Baby, you know I don't mind. It felt so good to kiss you and suck you off. That's how I got my pleasure.” He sighed, and rested their foreheads together, and pulled out his ace in the hole. “I'm sorry, love,” he murmured. “I can get hard or I can not want to kill myself. Frankly, I choose the latter.”

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut hard, and hugged Steve so tightly it hurt.

“Fuck, I shouldn't have said that,” Steve whispered. “I'm sorry. Just...don't be upset with me? Please?”

Bucky kissed him softly, and pulled back to sign.  I won't. I'm not angry at you. angry at the world He touched Steve's cheek, thumb rubbing across his cheekbone.  it shouldn't be a choice. you shouldn't have to give this up

“Hey, maybe it'll come back. Or my depression'll get better. Or there'll be a new drug.” Steve kissed Bucky's neck. “I meant it though. I loved sucking you off, getting to put my hands and mouth all over you. That gave me so much pleasure, baby.” He smiled, tongue flicking just under Bucky's ear, where he was ultra-sensitive. “'Sides it's your birthday. I should be spoiling you.”

Bucky pinched him lightly.

Steve laughed, and kissed him again, and sighed happily when Bucky found his mouth, their tongues meeting, tangling, the kiss so long that they were sharing breath. “God yes,” Steve breathed when they finally parted. “'s all I want. That's all I need.”

Bucky sighed, but didn't pursue it.

 

“Hey, love. How's the job search going?” Steve leaned over to kiss Bucky hello. Living together had done nothing to put a stop to their coffee dates; it was just all the nicer, now that they went home together every day. It was a few days past Bucky's birthday, a rainy early-spring day, and he was already looking forward to cuddling together before bed, a little barrier against the chill in the air.

Bucky shrugged. nothing yet. guess it's slow

“Guess so. I'm sorry, Buck, that's rough.”

Bucky shrugged again. that's why I have savings

Steve reached over, wrapping his hand around Bucky's. “That's why you've got a boyfriend with savings too. Don't worry about anything, okay love?”

Bucky smiled, twisted and a little sad. _There are so many jobs I can't do, and it sucks._

“It does. But none of that is your fault, got it?” Steve said firmly. Bucky had let go of his hand to type, and he reached out again, cupping Bucky's jaw. “You've had fallow periods before, Buck. The work'll come back. And we'll figure something out if it doesn't.” He touched his thumb to Bucky's cheekbone. “This is a shitty world we live in for you, but you'll be okay. I promise.”

Bucky smiled a little, and leaned into Steve's touch. I'm so tired he signed.

“Poor love.” Steve rubbed his cheek again. “Take a break, baby. Sit there and rest and let me draw you, then I'll take you out to the diner, then back home.” He grinned. “Will you read to me tonight?”

Bucky laughed silently, turning his head to kiss Steve's hand. Of course. He closed his laptop and got comfortable with his mug of tea, sipping it slowly and trying to (mostly) hold still so Steve could draw him. It was nice, to just rest. To let his mind calm, to have no more of a duty than to sit and keep making Steve smile every time he glanced up at Bucky.

He felt a little bit better, at least, when Steve finished the sketch and showed it to him. He looked exhausted, but in a really handsome way – Steve always flattered him, and Bucky told him so.

“The fuck I do. I just draw what I see.”

Bucky made a face at him, and Steve smiled and leaned over to kiss the tip of his nose. “No more work for a little bit, okay love?” He rubbed the back of Bucky's hand. “You're wearing yourself out.”

Bucky made a face at him – he was _barely useful_ , and at least he could cook and clean for his guy, but he didn't need _more_ rest.

That said, though, it was really nice to go out to dinner, and even nicer to go home and have Steve make tea, and the two of them lie in bed and cuddle and listen to an audiobook, Bucky drifting off earlier than he would have bet on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: This chapter mentions a serious bout of depression Steve had in the past, including suicidal feelings, but does so only in passing.

He slept deeply through the night, barely waking up when he felt Steve get up. Bucky roused a little for a sleepy kiss, then let sleep pull him under again, barely feeling Steve covering him with the blanket again.

Steve went off to work worried. Bucky wasn't a morning person really, but he was usually up when Steve left, pottering around with a cup of coffee and maybe a podcast, kissing Steve goodbye before he got down to his own projects – or, lately, to hunting for gigs. He'd dropped off to sleep early the night before, and barely woken that morning. Steve did some quick math – his lover had slept for a good ten hours already when he had left.

Steve bit his lip and forced himself to not turn around and go back home at the next subway stop. Bucky would be _fine_. He was fine. This wasn't like Steve's long depression, when he couldn't get out of bed, when the only reason he hadn't killed himself was that he couldn't get the energy up. This wasn't anything like those horrible months when Bucky coaxed him into eating, and then into calling his therapist. And, one truly horrible night, they tried to figure out together if Steve needed to check himself into a psych hospital.

This was nothing like that at all. Bucky was stressed, and frustrated, and sad as anyone out of work would be. He was tired. That was _all_.

Steve got into his shared office space and went to work. Or tried to. Drawing...wasn't a thing that was happening. He went through the bills, and did his weekly budget, and sent some e-mails to people who still owed him pay. (Only one of them required threatening a call from his attorney, which was nice. Mostly because his 'attorney' was a friend of Bucky's who was _probably_ really smart, despite looking like a roadie for a mid-level stoner rock band, who had a fairly shitty practice in Hell's Kitchen. But he was willing to send letters for nothing in return, so Steve wasn't going to complain, but also wasn't going to push it.)

He checked his accounts – enough to cover rent and food, and Bucky had said he could take the bills, and help with rent. They were fine for another month, and that was without dipping into savings just yet.

Steve checked his workflow list, and picked what he guessed would be the easiest project – a single image, a commission from someone who liked his online work. A golden age-style image of Cap; easy-peasy. Steve went back to the very first time he'd drawn the guy, with the silly old costume with its pirate boots and booty shorts, and started sketching out his hero-doppelganger in a relaxed standing pose; nothing too fancy, more to show off his style than anything else.

He didn't quite lose himself in work, but he'd gotten the outlines down at least, a decent sketch, when he gave in and texted Bucky.

**Steve:** _Hey baby, you ok?_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _our bed is the best steve. THE BEST_

**Steve:** _ha ha, you would know ;) you get up yet, love?_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _lil bit. got breakfast. dim sum ok for dinner? we got all that stuff in the freezer, can steam it easy_

**Steve:** _that sounds great._

**Steve:** _buck, serious question. you ok? I'm a little worried, you're sleeping a lot :(_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _ugh, not so good tbh_

**Steve:** _oh fuck baby, i'm so sorry. what can I do?_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _bring oj home with you? and pick up tissues?_

**Steve:** _You have a cold?_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _Yeeeah, why what_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _oh_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _wow i'm dumb. honey no no no it's nothing like what you've beent hrouh_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _nothing at all! I mean i'm down, yeah, and frustrated and all of that._

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _I slept a lot because I've got a cold! promise that's all. I'm not depressed._

**Steve:** _thank god_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _oh jesus i'm so sorry I made you worry_

**Steve:** _ah shut up I always worry as you tell me all the time_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _well you do. you worry too much :)_

**Steve:** _well, you worry me too much so nyah_

**Steve:** _i'll pick up some nyquil for you, and oj, and tissues. anything else?_

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _nah. it's not really that bad even, just tired and sniffly_

**Steve:** _stay in bed, beautiful, and sleep as much as you can. i'll be home in a few hours._

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _goody. thanks stevie. and i'm sorry I worried you, love. i'm fine._

**Steve:** _good. I love you, now go curl up in bed and take care of yourself._

**Bucky [peach emoji]:** _way ahead of you on that kiddo. love you, have a good day :)_

**Steve:** _:*_

Steve remembered that he was maybe a little dramatic sometimes. A lot of the time.

 

***

 

“Hey baby.” Steve set his keys down and didn't even get his coat off before he was hugging Bucky. “Missed you.”

Bucky nodded, and hugged back tightly. Normally, he hardly noticed if Steve had to spend a night at his mother's to help her with things.

Normally, it wasn't exactly a year since he'd lost everything he owned and nearly died in the bargain.

Steve kissed his temple, then his cheek. “You wanna go out? Or stay in?”

stay. cook together. lots of hugs

Steve smiled and hugged Bucky again. “On it, honey. You need me to run out and get anything?”

Bucky shook his head. already went shopping. He smiled when Steve's face relaxed. I'm ok. Just want to be with you tonight

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” One more hug, lifting Bucky up off his feet while he giggled silently, and Steve took off his jacket and kicked off his shoes and followed his lover into the kitchen so they could cook together, and ignore the memories of the year before.

Steve lit candles while Bucky set the table.

Bucky looked at Steve.

“What? Oh. Uh.” Steve buried his face in his hands. “I am a moron.”

Bucky giggled silently as soon as Steve looked up. oh grow up, it's fine. just funny.

“Your face is funny,” Steve informed him, so Bucky stuck his tongue out.

“Seriously,” he said, after another kiss. “It's pretty and homey, but it's a little tacky, considering. You okay?”

It's romantic. I like it. Put the rolls in the oven while I start the steak?

“ Of course,” Steve said, and he did. He also pressed a secret kiss to the back of Bucky's neck when he had the chance.

T hey ate together in comfortable quiet, the food good; simple but filling, and the game of footsie Steve started under the table keeping them interested.

Bucky got up to clear away their plates, and came back with a little cupcake for each of them.  we deserve a treat

Steve grinned. “You deserve a treat, love.”

WE Bucky signed emphatically.  you came and got me, and took care of me and gave me a home. you made everything so much easier. I will love you forever for those first few days

Steve's face softened. “I just did what anybody would.” He paused, and added, “with an extra helping of relief that you weren't seriously hurt and  maybe some slight protectiveness.”

Bucky threw his head back and laughed.  eat your stupid cupcake

you eat your stupid cupcake Steve signed, obviously mocking and mimicking, and they ate their treats together, leaning between the candles for a sweet, sugary kiss.

“ I love you,” Steve murmured into Bucky's mouth. “I was so afraid when I got that call, but you're all right. Better than, now.”

Bucky just nodded, and went in for another lingering kiss.

 

That night, almost inevitably, they made love slow and gentle and sweet, their bodies moving together under the covers. They were almost never tender in this way with each other, but that night, it seemed right to be soft. To make sure Bucky was lying back against pillows, for Steve to push into him slow and easy, to hardly take a break from long kisses. Steve didn't say much, and Bucky didn't sign anything, their bodies simply coming together, a comfort and a celebration.

Their lovemaking lasted deep into the night, nearly to the time Steve got the phone call, their bodies slick with sweat and moving together all the while, drawing out foreplay until they were both lost in feeling and each other.

Afterwards, they showered together, teasing each other with little kisses and tickles. Bucky got Steve into a headlock and dragged him back to their room, and they dressed in the deep darkness of a night so late it was almost early, and fell into bed together, heavy and ready for sleep in the best of ways.

Steve stayed up a little, forcing himself to stay awake until he could be sure Bucky was peacefully asleep, and so he could enjoy the heavy body sprawled across him. Bucky was warm, his head on Steve's shoulders, and if Steve was careful to sleep lightly in case of nightmares, no one needed to know.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Bucky:** Hey baby, got an interesting request from a comics writer. Mind if I forward it to you and you let me know what you think?_

_**Steve:** Yeah, of course :)_

_**Bucky:** Cool, check your work address, love._

_**Steve:** OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SAY YES_

_**Bucky:** So he's legit?_

_**Steve:** YES HE IS VERY LEGIT. Seriously, Bucky, this is an amazing offer. Rate he's offering is very fair. I'm so proud of you :) :)_

_**Bucky:** hehehe, aw, thanks honey. I'll e-mail him right now._

_**Steve:** You're the best, Buck, and finally everyone else is getting it to._

_**Bucky:** Oh, shut it._

_**Steve:** SHAN'T. Love you. So happy for you and proud of you._

_**Bucky:** Thanks babe. Love you too, Steve :*_

 

Steve let himself in, whistling and with his backpack extra-heavy. He was terrible at picking out good wine, but that's what frantic texts to Sam were for, and he'd been assured that the bottle in his bag was heavy and golden, that it tasted of summer. Perfect for his baby.

“Bucky! I'm home!” he called, and went into the kitchen, pleased to see that the roses he'd ordered had beaten him home. He set the wine in the fridge to chill and turned around when he heard footsteps. They definitely had time for a happy cuddle before they had to make dinner.

What. The. Fuck .

“What?” Steve asked, bewildered. “What happened?”

The flowers! What the FUCK Steve! Bucky was signing fast, clearly angry at him.  Stop wasting money we don't have!

“What? What are you talking about?” Steve folded his arms and glared right back. “I'm not wasting money. You got a great gig, and I wanted to  _ congratulate _ you.”

Yeah I know it's impressive I actually can work for a living . Bucky was  _ breathing _ sarcasm; Steve had not previously been aware that it was so possible to communicate it  so clearly through sign language.  fucking hooray, you don't have to singlehandedly support me. but we can't afford something like this! Bucky scrubbed at his eyes  stop spending our money on shit, steve. I don't know what to do

“It's not on shit,” Steve insisted angrily. “It's my money, okay? We're doing fine, I can afford fifty bucks to give you something beautiful! We're doing okay, even without a lot of work coming in!”

Try no work. try no more savings. try i'm so scared and you don't GET it Bucky threw up his hands.  You think it's always gonna be okay, but it's not

“Oh, bullshit,” Steve said. “Stop acting like I'm some fucking Pollyanna. I know it's not gonna be okay every time. but it  _ is _ this time.” He shook his head. “We're in this  _ together _ Bucky. I still got savings even if you don't.

But what happens when I'm alone again?

If Bucky had punched Steve in the chest, it wouldn't have felt this bad. “What?”

what happens if you get sick of me? I'm not worth this.

“ _ Oh _ .” Steve took a deep breath. “You think I'll get sick of you?”

Bucky wiped his eyes.  No. I don't know. It's possible.

It really, truly, actually wasn't possible, but Steve took another deep breath and told the freaking-out part of himself to stay cool for a little bit longer. For Bucky, he could be patient. “It's not likely,” he said quietly. “Bucky, I love you so much.”

Bucky nodded and started to cry in earnest.

“Oh, come here,” Steve said, only a little roughly, and gathered Bucky into his arms. “Shh, baby. I got you right now, okay?” He sighed, and let Bucky cry onto his shoulder until he was calmer.

Blessedly, it took far less time than he'd feared, and Bucky was sniffling and pulling away.  No, but really. We DON'T have that much money.

“I'm sorry, then,” Steve said gently. “I won't spend that much again until we're both better off.” He reached out and squeezed Bucky's shoulder. “Hey, sit down and talk with me a little bit.”

Bucky nodded and trailed him to the kitchen table, settling down across from him.

“You're really scared I might leave you?” Steve asked quietly.

Sort of. I know you love me, but. Loving isn't always enough

Steve looked at Bucky, met his eyes, and thought hard about his beloved. How Bucky had seen horrors, how what he'd lived through had stolen his voice. How he hadn't gotten help soon enough. How he still moved quietly, hated making noise. How his parents had been killed suddenly in a car crash.  He'd lost everything in a fire.  Even his sisters, beloved as they were, were scattered now, only Becca close enough to visit easily. Of  _ course _ he knew good things were taken away all the time.

“ What if I did leave you, though?” Steve asked. “Hypothetical. You're scared, love, so let's talk this through.”

Bucky  managed a smirk .  Nice therapy voice

“Shut it,” Steve said, and smiled at him. “Look. I love you so much, but you have a valid fear, Bucky. What if you were alone, though? Literally, what would you do first, if we broke up right now?”

Bucky took a deep breath.

“Drinking yourself blind doesn't count,” Steve said, and grinned at him. “That's my plan and you can't steal my idea.”

Bucky made a face at him.  Okay. I've got a hundred in my checking account, nothing in savings. That's enough to get to Becca's .

Steve nodded. “Uh huh. Who else can you rely on?”

Nat. Maybe Sam and Clint, but they were your friends first. So Nat, definitely. Bucky took another deep breath. 

“What about your other sisters?” Steve prompted.

Jennifer would buy me a plane ticket that night. Emma's a little harder to get to, but she'd send me money Bucky was breathing easier already.  Emma's got room to put me up, more than the other two.

Steve nodded. “Okay, so it sounds like Nat and Becca are good first stops, if you need an emergency place to stay. And then you can get to Vermont as soon as possible, for a real place to live until you've got your feet under you.” He smiled at him. “Is that what you'd've done after the fire?”

Bucky nodded, and reached for him, squeezing his hands and then pulling away to sign.  But I've got my boyfriend.

“You do,” Steve agreed. “And if you're ever afraid, you've got friends and family, too.”

Bucky nodded harder, and wiped his eyes.  I'm sorry

“Feel better?”

Yes . And, with the look of a man remembering  _ years _ of therapy.  Thank you for comforting me, and taking me seriously _._

“Well, you've kinda earned the right.” Steve smiled at him. “Look, I'm not gonna stop doing nice things for you. But I'll try to make it so they don't cost money, okay?”

Bucky nodded. At least for a bit. Thank you, though. The roses are beautiful, Steve. I don't deserve them, but they're beautiful

“I don't give a shit if you deserve them or not, I wanted to get them for you,” Steve informed him.

Bucky rolled his eyes, but he also leaned across the table for a kiss, so things were good between them again, at least.

Later, after dinner, they got their cuddle in on the sofa.

Hey, I'm sorry about the fight Bucky signed, coming up from a kiss.  I know you love me. My heart knows you would never ditch me, that even if things ended you'd help out. My head doesn't always know that, though

Steve nodded, and kissed Bucky's forehead. “I can understand that. Your head's got good instincts, going by the rest of your life.” Another kiss, lingering. “I'll keep trying to teach your brain otherwise.” He grinned, and hugged Bucky tightly. “And I'll reassure you, baby, every time. Sixty years from now, when we're in the nursing home together, if you have your doubts, I'll tell you how much I love you.”

Bucky laughed silently.  Oh please I will have run off with some twink and be living on a tropical island

“...can't really judge you for that,” Steve conceded, and they necked a little while longer, since they could.

 

 

The next morning, Bucky woke up first, stretching out under the heavy covers, deliciously warm and still a little sleepy. His arm ached, and he rolled onto his belly, stretching and trying to loosen the joints of his wrist.

Steve was still dead the world beside him, and Bucky snuggled under the covers, dozing a little, sort of wanting a cuddle but also sort of not wanting to wake his baby. They'd made up the night before, and it wasn't like either of them had been really _angry_ , but still. Steve deserved a lie-in.

“Hmmm?” Steve stretched and rolled over, still mostly asleep, and Bucky happily nudged up against them, the two of them coming together, both still heavy with relaxation.

Bucky nuzzled his throat, and then kissed Steve, trying to hold onto this early-morning feeling.

“Mmm. Hi.” Steve giggled a little. “Heh. Doesn't really matter I don't have m'hearing aids in, huh?”

Bucky shook with giggles, and stretched, catlike, making sure to land on top of Steve. He framed his lover's head with his forearms and sipped long, sweet kisses from Steve's mouth.

Steve kissed back, neither of them in a rush (although, to be fair, try telling that to Bucky's cock); Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky's waist and seemed fully content to exchange lazy kisses.

_Seemed_ being the operative word. With a sudden giggle, he rolled over, flipping them in the bed and landing fully on Bucky. Bucky wriggled, shrieking silently, and Steve laughed and ran his hands up Bucky's arms, lacing their fingers together and stretching Bucky's hands high above his head. “Love you,” he said, and shifted so he could work a thigh between Bucky's legs, rubbing deliciously.

Bucky arched his back into Steve's weight and let the early morning and his boyfriend and the wave of sudden love (and, being honest, lust) work through him. He reached for a hungry kiss, writhing as Steve worked their bodies together, stretching Bucky's arms and then running his hands down to Bucky's belly, thumbs tracing the lines of muscles. Steve's touch felt _amazing_ , alive and hard and powerful.

He nuzzled Bucky's throat, biting lightly, then went for another kiss. “My Bucky,” he murmured into their mouths, and grinned when Bucky started to lower his arms. “Unh-unh. You need to stretch more, and better,” he teased, raising his arms again, thumbs strong over muscle Bucky hadn't even realized was tense.

Bucky winced when Steve hit a spot on his bad arm a little too hard, and got a whispered apology, gentler hands, and a harder kiss. And all the while, Steve's thigh, big and strong, between his legs.

They writhed together in the early morning light, Bucky rippling into the touch, the weight of his lover, so unarguably _there_ , until the friction and pressure brought on his orgasm, sweet and long. His sweatpants were a mess, and he couldn't care in the least, not with the way Steve was kissing him down.

He waited until his breathing had calmed, at least, and then flipped them over again, grinning when Steve giggled. Bucky scattered kisses all over Steve's face, returning again and again to that familiar, lush mouth, their tongues meeting, kisses deep.

Steve was soft against his thigh, but they'd dealt with that for long enough now. Bucky rubbed Steve's hip and sat up to sign to him. Can I suck you off anyway?

Steve squinted. “What? Sorry, baby.”

Bucky just smiled and traced a heart onto his chest. He took Steve's hand and laid it briefly on Bucky's chest, formed it into the sign for suck, then touched it to Steve's chest.

“Oh, clever man,” Steve observed, and pulled him down for a kiss. “Yes, love. I'd like that very much.”

Bucky gave a little wriggle, and happily kissed his way down Steve's chest and under the dark, stuffy covers. They'd had a hard talk about this after Bucky's birthday; it ended with Steve, exasperated, pointing out that he still loved intimacy and being touched and all of that, even if he couldn't _show_ it. Not always, anyway; it came and went.

Bucky kissed the wiry puff of pubic hair, and the smooth skin of Steve's hips on either side of it. He'd asked what it felt like, getting sucked off while soft, and Steve had whispered it into his ear while he got Bucky off. That it felt tender. That it felt like someone loved him. That it felt like someone desired him, that _Bucky_ desired him, even if his body was a little broken. ( _That_ had gotten some brief, very fierce signing until Steve had tackled him and gotten him to shut up again.)

His cock was vulnerable and tender, soft in Bucky's cupped hands, and Bucky felt a surge of power and protectiveness. It was easy to press wet kisses to the soft skin, even wrap his mouth around the head, feel Steve sigh and relax even more deeply. This was secret, somehow magic, to be trusted with this.

Bucky kissed the shaft, licked the head, tenderly cupping the soft thing. He gently moved it out of the way to kiss Steve's balls and nuzzle the warm skin of his thighs. His mouth was warm and gentle; he was good with his tongue, he knew.

He played under the covers, finding new places to kiss and caress until Steve's hand on his shoulder gently tugged him up, and they snuggled together in the now not-so-early morning light.

“Love you,” Steve murmured, and smiled when Bucky traced a huge heart onto his chest, and then laid his head right on top of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


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